Precariously on the edge of dreams and reality.

I would have liked to enter into an arts school. Performing arts or Fine arts, doesn’t matter, I both want them.

.

Or study in a foreign school. In Japan, maybe. Or Canada. France. England. Italy. All those wonderful countries. Haha.

.

I would like to work in theatre all my life,

Or be an artist like my father.

.

Money would not be an obstacle to me, I’ll be happy with whatever I can get.

.

I would like to be a ballet dancer,

learn archery,

swordfighting,

have a major in medieval history. Medieval Arts. Anything and everything medieval.

.

I would live in the country and not be bothered by anything.

.

Yes, my dreams are getting a bit far off modern reality, I know.

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If life was as easy as one-two-three,

these are the things I want to be.

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I’m not sure that made sense at all.

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I’d be a happy thing with those. A really, happy thing.

.

.

Yes, I’d be happy.

There are a lot of possibilities in this world. Though I wasn’t able to ace all my written and oral outputs in Statistics for it, I know that there are a lot. How many times do you ask yourself this particular question and how often? Sometimes though, it doesn’t come to us in an interrogative form, rather, as a statement. A statement which in logic is known as a conditional, which, correct me if I’m wrong, follows the if-then pattern.

“If I had the money, then I’d be able to buy that cute top in that blabla shop.”

“If I were more beautiful, then he might have fallen for me instead of blablabla.”

“If there was/were world peace, then life would be perfect.”

Those conditional sentences sure confused me grammatically-speaking.

…another unfinished post. Next time, maybe.

“…reveal your true nature.

You have such great strength. So why do you need the help and love from others?

…

A person who wants nothing, a person who doesn’t allow himself to want anything may appear strong,

but that’s just you taking the easy way out.”

-Black Bird, Chapter 48.

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Funny how we pick up bits and pieces of wisdom in the different things we read… Just as this one was from a shoujo manga which I only read for entertainment, something with which to pass my time by.

…and I’ve already run out of things to say.

.

.

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I miss school. 

Stupid dipshit hits refresh instead of the other tab and now the past post’s been deleted. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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Enough. Hm. Indulging in Bokura Ga Ita and it’s 4:33AM.

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Wanting to write. To change the theme. To paint. To draw. To sing. And then write again. It’s been ages since I really wrote something partly substantial.

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Eyebags.

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Wanting to read Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Poison Study by Maria Snyder.

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Missing my Kindle.

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Missing the times I’m busy socializing and all that shit back in elementary.

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Have I given up on life with how I’m acting and living nowadays?

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When did it start? What caused it to? 

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Of shadows. Curves. Colors. Charcoal. Lines. 

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I thrive and live in imperfection, in imbalance, but not in discontentment.

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I’m hungry. I want sweet coffee. Or Apple Cali. And strawberry pocky. Or ice cream. Probably strawberry or vanilla or double dutch or chocolate. Almost anything I guess, just not some weird garlic flavor, perhaps, and cheese and cookies and cream. I hate cookies and cream. Makes me gag.

I want yogurt. Frozen or not. With strawberries. Strawberries. Anything with fresh strawberries.

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Yes, I feel you, summer-stomach-pain. It’s been quite a while and you’ve also been late this year. =_=

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Kbye. :)

“Where are the hopes?

Where are the dreams?

My Cinderella-story scenes?”

.

.

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It’s so annoying to know that I’m still the dreamy-romantic type of girl, who wishes for sunnier days, and singing birds, and happily-ever-afters.

.

.

.another unfinished post. Die, self.

…

I need somebody to wipe my tears and tell me everythings’s gonna be alright.

.

.

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Not make me swallow and choke on them along with everything else I’ve got to say.

…

*insert desperate-rage face here*

SOMETIMES.

could’ve beens.

Ifs.

What ifs.

I wish.

I hope.

Is a hope a wish?

A prayer?

What are you praying for?

Who’s your prayer for?

Do you even have somebody who’ll listen to it?

~

Parang punyeta lang.

Parang punyeta lang, pag di mo na alam saan ka maniniwala. Kanino.

Ayaw mong magsinungaling, manloko, kasi alam mo at kilala mo yung pinaniniwalaan mo.

Pero bigla siyang mawawala, tapos pagtingin mo may isa pa siyang buhay.

Isang buhay kung san wala kang lugar.

Echepwera ka lang.

Kung san lahat ng pinaniniwalaan mo pang iba e basura sa paningin nila.

Lahat ng maganda sa’yo kinasusuklaman nila. Lahat ng mabuti, masama.

Ano ka ba?

Ano ba ako?

Sino ka? Ako?

Bakit ganun?

Tama pa ba ‘to?

Ano pa ang tama?

Ano pang pinagkaiba niya sa mali?

Alam mo pa ba kung ano ang tama sa mali sa sitwasyong ganito?

May tama at mali pa ba talaga?

…

Putangina lang sa sakit.

Wala ka nang mapagsabihan. Gago ka kasi e. Iniwan mo lahat.

Nasan ka na ngayon.

Nasan na kaligayahan mo.

…

Gusto ko magpinta.

To have everything you know to be good be seen by someone else you terribly love as bad is unsettling.

Remember, remember

the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason, and plot

I see no reason

why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.